children, Events, Family, Life, Parenting

Baby-shower-palooza!

With several friends expecting between July and September, the time for the baby showers has finally arrived.  A few weekends ago,  I attended two very different, but very special baby showers.

With four of our close-friends all due within two months of each other, we decided to throw a “group” baby-shower, hosted by six of the girls in the group.

Soon-to-be moms in order of due date

We made brunch reservations at a local restaurant called Joy Bistro in Lesliville (btw – great brunch spot for those of you in the area).  We decorated the tables and enjoyed some girl time while cheering (sans alcohol of course) the moms-to-be.  As for the gifts, we all put in money towards a gift-card and we bought each lady a onsie with the baby’s last name.  Everyone just loved this personalized, unique gift (from www.kids-spot.ca).

All of the ladies

After brunch, I quickly headed up to my second baby shower.  The theme was “high-tea” and was hosted by my friend’s mom and mother-in-law.  The beautifully decorated back-yard looked very elegant and sweet.  With tables, chairs and tents set up, servers went around filling up people beautiful tea-cups with different tea and ensured that our platters were full of the delicious food that was served throughout the event.  Specifically, the menu included: Mini Scones, Quiches, gourmet Tea sandwiches, miniature Desserts & Fruit Plate.

Various games were played throughout the event including; 1) Guess how many tea bags are in the jar (total was the month and day the baby is due) 2) match pregnancy terms to candy name, 3) guess how big the belly is using string, 4) baby clip game where you can’t say the soon-to-be mom and dad’s name or baby 5) a scratch card game and 6) poppy diaper game lottery.  The detail put into these games was amazing.  My best-friend and I told each other that we want a due-over on our baby showers (and yes, we each hosted one another’s shower).

At the end, the amazing cake was brought out.  It was too cute and very special (hello – a baby in a tea cup).  Of course, each guest left with a parting gift.  A tea bag holder with a tea bag that was created especially for the shower.

What a special filled day for all of the soon-to-be moms.  I can’t wait to meet all of the little ones and for Kyle to have some new friends* 🙂

* Special congratulations to Andrea and Mike on the birth of their son Grey (July 7th, 2012).

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children, Events, Family, Life, Parenting

My Journey Through Miscarriage (part 2) – Guest Post

To read part 1, go here: http://wp.me/p248bN-jU

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DAY 8:

I needed to see it with my own eyes. Strangely it wasn’t as traumatizing as I thought it would be. The ultrasound just showed a blob with no heartbeat. It even shrunk to an 8-9 week fetus. I guess that happens over time. I am past the stage of disbelief, and coming to terms with it more and more as each day passes.

I’m supposed to be 12 weeks and 2 days today. We met the OB and she went through our options in detail. I asked a hundred questions about the risks and benefits of each option, but wanted to know most importantly which option was best for avoiding future child bearing problems. We’ve decided to take the Misoprostol in a few days. This drug is supposed to induce contractions. It’s our best choice right now as it’s 85 per cent effective in expelling all contents. We may still need to do a D&C. I want to move on and have closure. I want to have a baby and forget this all happened.

I know I’m not alone. Hundreds of women go through this every day. Miscarriage in early pregnancy is common. Studies show that about 10 to 20 per cent of women who know they are pregnant have a miscarriage some time before 20 weeks of pregnancy (that’s about 1 in 5); 80 per cent of these occur in the first 12 weeks. But the actual rate of miscarriage is even higher since many women have very early miscarriages without ever realizing they were pregnant. One study that followed women’s hormone levels every day to detect very early pregnancy found a total miscarriage rate of 31 per cent. (source: UpToDate).

Although I knew I stand in solidarity with many women, I still felt alone and at fault. When I first heard the news a week ago I blamed myself. What did I do wrong? Did I miss one too many prenatal vitamins? Did I exert myself too much that week?  Did I keep my cell phone too close to my uterus? Did I eat too many cookies? Really, these thoughts go through one’s head! But after some research– I am a facts and numbers kind of girl – I found out you can’t shake off a good pregnancy.

During the first trimester, the most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality – meaning that something is not correct with the baby’s chromosomes. Most chromosomal abnormalities are the cause of a damaged egg or sperm cell, or are due to a problem at the time that the zygote went through the division process. (Source: American Pregnancy Association)

Now that I’ve had time to let this all sink in, I’m trying to look at the positive side of things. We have so much for which to be thankful. We are grateful to have one child already; I am physically able to conceive; this miscarriage happened at 10 weeks rather than at 5 months or, even worse, full term. We are very lucky and need to see the good in all of this. I believe there is a reason for everything in life. I am unsure why I need to go through this ordeal, but hopefully one day it will all make sense.

(To be continued)

Parenting

My Journey Through Miscarriage (part 1) – Guest Post

My friend recently faced one of the most devastating news of her life as a parent.  She found out she miscarried during her 11 week ultrasound appointment.  She found relief in writing down her experience, thoughts and feelings as the days go by from when she found out.  She hopes that by sharing her story, others can relate and feel that they’re not alone.  I know I truly appreciate her courage in sharing her experience with others.  Here is her story in multi-part posts:

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DAY 5:

I am a walking vessel of death. Every day since the news, I wait. When will I have closure? When can I start over?

Five days ago I found out my baby-to-be had no heartbeat. I was 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I went for my dating and IPS ultrasound. The tech took me in and asked my husband to wait outside until she called him. She said I must have my dates wrong because the fetus was measuring 10 weeks. I thought it was a little strange because I was very sure about my dates. Then my second thought was, well, maybe it’s a small little girl! She did her thing and sent me out. I asked about my husband and she said I’d have to come back anyway next week because it was too early to do the IPS and he could come in then. I was furious. He took time off work. That bitch. I gave her shit and left.

Hours later, my midwife called.

Me: Hi, Tracey!

Midwife: Where are you right now?

Me: Let me just step out of this room, I’m with family (no one knew I was pregnant)

Midwife: I wanted to call you about your ultrasound…. I’m so sorry to tell you… but there was no heartbeat…

My heart sunk. I couldn’t stop crying.

And now, five days later, I am waiting for my appointment at the early pregnancy clinic to discuss “my options”. What options? My baby is dead*.

I am carrying a dead fetus inside me. No blood. No spotting. Nothing. Just death. And I wait. I wait for them to tell me that I can either wait some more, insert some meds to make the miscarriage begin, or have them scrape and suction the fetus out of me.

And as I wait, I feel dirty. Who would have thought that this could make someone feel dirty? It feels unnatural to be carrying a dead fetus. And since no one knew I was pregnant (other than some immediate family), I go about pretending that life is normal, but it’s far from.

(to be continued)

* I know it’s not a baby yet, but we started to imagine it as such.