children, Family, Life, Parenting

Fur parenting fail

On April 7th, our little girl pup was born.  Seven weeks later, we took her home with us.  Three weeks later, we had to give her to my in-laws… where she still remains today.  What happened you say?  I’ll tell you… it’s called fur parent fail!  There, I’ve said it.  I’ve been ashamed to admit it, but I can’t hide it anymore.  People are asking questions, neighbours are giving us weird looks.  They know the dog is no longer around… so where could she be?  Well… it’s time for the truth to come out.

Yes, it was my idea to get a dog. I thought it would be a perfect addition to our family. John and I always talked about getting a dog and Kyle loved dogs so much, it only made sense.  I figured the timing was right.  Kyle was a bit “older” and we weren’t yet expecting our second child.  I figured it gave us a good year in between kids and Kyle wasn`t as needy anymore.  All of this makes sense, right?

When we brought our pup (Corona) home, all was good.  At first a least.  However, at this point I was one month pregnant and suddenly, I couldn’t stand to be around her.  Her smell was bothering me so much, I couldn’t come within 10 feet of her.  That made it a little hard to take care of her.  Also, she couldn’t stop jumping and biting Kyle.  When she was still really small, it wasn’t a big deal, Kyle could handle himself.  But once she got bigger, she pushed Kyle over.  To say the least, he wasn’t a happy boy.  So Corona spent most of her time outside in our backyard.  Although being outside was nice, it wasn’t fair to her.  What’s more, Kyle was on a new sleep schedule, waking up between 5:30 and 6 AM, around the same time as Corona.  Since I was not feeling well (did I mention I was pregnant and super nauseous from Corona’s smell and super tired ALL THE TIME???), my husband would be the one who would wake up early each morning taking care of Kyle and Corona. His main objective became keeping Kyle and Corona separated and happy at the same time. At 5:30 in the morning, this was a frustrating task, and I was no help.  To say the least, my husband started despising my “great idea” of getting a dog.

To help us out, my in-laws offered to watch Corona for the summer.  They spent most of their time at the cottage, and figured she would love it up there.  And they were right, she did love it up there.  And what was supposed to be a short-term solution, ended up being for the long-term.  I was finally able to admit that we really couldn’t take of Corona, with our second child on the way and Corona still being a puppy when the baby arrives.  It took me a while to admit this, but I had.  For the sake of my husband’s sanity, and for our non-fur-children.

Where the signs there all along? Sure… there were some.  When we were seeking out a breeder, a few e-mailed me back saying that I would be hard pressed to find a breeder willing to sell us a pup with a two year-old son.  I just figured they were jerks.  At the time we researched this, I wasn’t pregnant, but I was by the time we went to pick up Corona from the breeder.  My first pregnancy was very tough (gagging, nausea and vomiting, and extreme tiredness).  So should I have figured out that things would have been the same this time around? Probably… but who have guessed that a puppy smell would have bothered me?  I didn’t!

The good news is that Corona is still in the family.  Kyle still gets to see her a lot and grow up with a dog near by.  It also made John and I realize that maybe we’re not dog people after all.  Instead, we realized we’re baby / toddler / children people instead.  At least, that’s our priority at the moment.  It also turns out that we’re not the first (or the last) to have made that mistake.  Our elderly, and much more mature neighbours, who have a dog, admitted to us that they made the same mistake when their children were still toddlers and they had to give their dog away.  Knowing this, and the fact that they still got another dog later on in their life, made us feel human again.  And the guilt that I was carrying around with me, somewhat lifted.  Did we fail as fur parents? YES!  But at least it was in the name of our children, the real ones, the human ones, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

4 thoughts on “Fur parenting fail”

  1. Mazel-tov on baby number 2, Maya! I am so excited for you three! I absolutely loved this post. That picture of Kyle is so precious and it’s so wonderful he’ll still have fur relatives. What a perfect solution! When we first got our dog, Stephen said that if babies were as hard as puppies then we wouldn’t be having any. Well, it’s been 2.5 years now and no plans for a baby yet! So I can’t even IMAGINE having a puppy, a little one and growing a new little peanut all at the same time! Hope you’re feeling well these days.

  2. Hi Maya 🙂
    Over the past year, and since I have been pregnant we have contemplated finding Goober a new home and have felt bad about thinking about it. So far he’s still with us, but it’s all about life balance and doing what’s best for everyone – furballs included 🙂 DON’T CARRY THE GUILT 🙂 🙂 Corona (and your fam) will be so much happier 🙂 🙂 Thanks for sharing 🙂 🙂

  3. Oh my gosh…… when I was pregnant with #1……I started to HATE my dog. This was a dog that I had claimed before it was even born. One I carried around until he got so big that it was impossible to do so. One who had his very own facebook album. Absolutely HATED him. He smelled, even when I bathed him, he stunk!!!!! He drooled. Big nasty drool. He’s 160lbs. That’s a lot of drool. I lived in an apartment for the first 4 months of my pregnancy. That means I had to pick up his ginormous poop every single time. He stared at me a lot. He would breathe on me. It was everything!!!!! I wanted him gone so bad. I felt REALLY guilty. We kept him, in fear that my pregnancy hormones would give him away, then my unpregnant self would regret it. Well….not really. I’d still like to get him a new home…because I don’t ever play with him since the baby came and now we are expecting #2! Maybe we will find someone with another dane in the family to take him…until then…he will live outside and his only company will be “his” 2 cats. 🙂 Congratulations btw!

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