children, Family, Life, Parenting

Preparing our toddler to become an older brother

While Kyle isn’t great at socializing with kids his own age, he does love playing with older kids.  He also adores babies; and mostly, he’s very gentle with them.  This is a good thing, since we’re expecting our second child in two months.  From the moment we found out I was pregnant, we told our son Kyle about it.  At the time, he wasn’t talking much, so we weren’t worried about him spilling the beans.

More recently, we have stepped up our discussions of the impending birth of our second child and read to him daily one of our “I’m a big brother now” books.  Kyle will tell you that his baby brother is in “mommy’s tummy” and occasionally, he gives his future brother “gifts” under my shirt including his beloved pacifiers.  When I tell him that his brother is kicking he responds by kicking my tummy in retaliation. Clearly, he doesn’t yet understand what that means, but it’s completely hilarious to watch.

When we talk about being a big brother, Kyle gets excited about all of the things that he will get to teach him, including: hopping, touch-down, kicking, home-run, ABC’s, puzzles and hockey.  However, when we talk about helping mommy and dada push the stroller, Kyle immediately responds with a “no baby, Kyle’s stroller” and gets in his stroller even if we’re not going anywhere.  Same goes for his chairs and even though we haven’t gone there yet, I’m sure it will be the same reaction regarding his toys!

I know that issues with sharing is a phase, but I wonder if there’s anything we can do now, before the baby is here to help alleviate some of the stress that Kyle might have with sharing his things and his time with us with his new baby brother.

What advice can you give us to talk to Kyle about now or do now?  What was some of the best advice you received when preparing for the birth of your second (or third) child?

5 thoughts on “Preparing our toddler to become an older brother”

  1. b’shaah tova! i think that it is really important to put away any items that belonged to Kyle which you plan to use for the new baby. hopefully by the time you use them for the baby Kyle will have forgoten that they were his and this will help avoid future jealousy. i also believe that it helps not to make a big fuss over the new baby infront of an older sibling, which might seem obvious but new babies sleep a lot, this is a great time to spend pouring attention on Kyle. one more tip, it really helped my older child ‘like’ the new baby when i told the older sibling things like, how his younger brother/sister was going to look up to him, how the baby’s smile was meant for them, or how the baby stopped crying because of what the older child did.
    good luck! bringing kyle a sibling is one of the best things you could do for him!

  2. Darling!
    There is really nothing you can do….no matter what you do, he will still try to choke the little one with a pillow while you are not looking…good luck 🙂

  3. Hi Maya, finally checked out your blog. My advice (well some of it anyways) is to make sure that after the baby is born set aside private Mummy time for Kyle. It will be hard in the beginning, but helps reassure the big sibling that the baby is not kicking him out.

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