I just had my second child two weeks ago and while the nights are still sleepless and the laundry is never ending, here are a few things I learned along the way that are different this time around.
During my first labour, I was in so much pain that I swore up and down that I would never have another child (don’t we all). Well, this time around, I got an epidural at 3 cm and was smiling versus at 4 cm and experiencing hell.
2. Postpartum emotions
While I experienced baby blues after my eldest was born, I didn’t this time around (at least not yet). Yes, I still get emotional here and there (hello hormones); I am afterall, the same girl that cried through her entire wedding speech!
Just because I breastfed my oldest for 13 months, it didn’t make things perfect the second time around. There is still a learning curve for at least one of us!
What’s the one piece of advice you got when you had your first child that you just hated?? “SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS”, right? Well, with two kids, you can’t afford to sleep when the baby sleeps because now, you have a toddler to keep after as well. I know, it’s not like you napped the first time around, but with a second, you’ll wish that you had.
5. Help from others
When I had my eldest son, I hesitated getting help from others. I felt that it was my job and my responsibility to take care of my son, so why would I get someone else to do it. NOW, I’m practically begging for help from anyone that is free and able (here’s looking at you grandparents). I also couldn’t care less if people offering help do things “my way”. I’m just grateful for the free time (aka to do stuff with my toddler without breastfeeding simultaneously).
6. Baby Gear Pet Peeves
Oh right! Those damn onsies. I forgot how much I truly hated them. Why would anyone invent a onsie that doesn’t have buttons on it, that is required to be pulled over the delicate, unstable head of a new born? Fine, the mistake was made… but I’m sure there was some quality control along the way. NO? Has no parent ever written and complained about how inefficient these onsies truly are? I mean, it’s 2013!!! GRRRRR… I’m so mad just thinking about it.
7. Savouring the little things
I’ve also learned to savour the little things. When I had my oldest son, I was literally in a state of haze and shock for the first three months. Every time I looked at my son I just wondered how this “creature” came to be in my life and if I truly knew what I was getting myself into. To be fair, my first son was colic… so on top of the typical lack of sleep and lack of experience, I had a fussy baby that cried on end and there was nothing we could really do to help him. This time around, I vowed to really take it all and enjoy, to the best that I could, every moment I have with my new-born baby. To take the time and savour the newborn moments that I didn’t really get to enjoy with my eldest. And so far, it’s been amazing!
If you have more than one child, what did you find to be the biggest changes, if any, in your experience with each one?
9 thoughts on “on having a second child”
You are spot on with each of your comments Maya, I felt the exact same way. I had a c-section with both however, and the hardest part was not being able to pick up my eldest for a long time after we returned home from the hospital. At one point I just gave in and it was a big mistake…I popped a stitch ouch! Anyway, aside from that it’s definitely a challenge setting aside quality time with the eldest when the baby needs you constantly. My hubby really stepped it up during the first few months and eventually you find your rhythm 🙂 But the lack of sleep is brutal LOL, there is NO getting used to that.
haha. tnx! I’m finding that I need to nap once a day in order to function. luckily, I’ve managed to do it so far when my toddler and baby nap at the same time. just not sure how much longer that will last 😉
I was just wondering if anything was easier with the second baby. My son is only 4 months old so I am in NO rush for a second one, I was just currious more of the differences a second time mom might have noticed. Congratulations!
there’s def differences but it’s different for everyone. I guess in my case, since my first was such a challenge the second one seemed to be so easy. enjoy ur time with your first. all of the changes are amazing, esp when u experience it for the first time.
Hey Maya, they have button up onsies at moms to be. I hatedd the over the head ones too! So I invested in a couple with buttons on the front! Xoxo
This is so timely for me, having just arrived home with our newborn two days ago. I feel so much the same way – luckily my hubby is a great help and is really attentive to helping our toddler through the transition. I am making the time to do my self-care and accepting help from whoever offers it! (agree, not something I would have done the first time around)
I found the self-care the biggest challenge. once I physically felt better I felt like I could do anything!!! of course some help from others went a long way too. congrats on ur second. I can’t believe my new born is already 3 weeks.
Congrats on your second. I thought I had it made with my first. I loved every single second of motherhood. Then baby #2 came along and I seriously thought I should be committed. I loved that second little bundle as much, but I was soooo sleep deprived I thought I would never function on a human level again. I guess it’s different for everyone. I’m so happy for you though. Hubby and I are considering number 3…are we crazy?
ah! just goes to show how everyone is different. not crazy at all re: #3. we want 3 as well… but not right away 😉