I don’t want to be JUST mom enough!

If you’re a parent, you’ve most likely seen the newest cover of TIME Magazine which shows a mother with her 3 year-old son breastfeeding while standing on a chair, with the headline “Are you mom enough?”.  I first took notice of it last Thursday when just about every other post on my Facebook News Feed had the picture of the cover on it with a tag line question such as “What kind of mom do you want to be?”  While most mothers reading this were uneasy with the picture or disagreed with attachment parenting, the majority of mothers were just plain disappointed with TIME putting out such a story, creating what is commonly referred to as “mommy wars”, especially so close to Mother’s day.  Some mothers were so upset that they didn’t want to comment on it one way or another.  While I understand their reason for concern, I think there’s nothing wrong with a healthy debate and conversation on parenting styles.  And so, buying into the hype, I went and purchased my copy the day it hit newsstands.

The best group I ever joined

One of the best things that I did with Kyle his first year was joining a mom’s group. We came together as each one of us knew one person, who knew another, and so on, until there were 8 of us (some months later, a few other mom’s joined as well). The youngest (my son Kyle) and the oldest baby were only 2 months apart in age. Our weekly get-together’s were full of stories, discussions, giving / taking advice, listening, laughing, and of course lots of crying, playing, hungry and sleepy babies. In fact, of all the activities I did with Kyle, this was his favourite. He didn’t need my constant attention as he was able to run and play with all his friends* and I was able to socialize without feeling guilty. Ok, maybe it was my favourite too!

Feeling guilty. Also known as being a mother

Being Jewish with Israeli parents of Polish decent, I grew up with a lot of guilt in my life. It was my parents go-to mantra for discipline. I grew up feeling guilty if I got 98% on a test and not 100%. Guilty for getting my car towed the first time I drove it downtown (for parking on the wrong side of the road between a certain time) after my parents made such a big deal about “downtown driving”.  Even though I paid for the towing charges and the ticket and was punished for months afterward. Guilty for not spending more time with my grandmother before she passed away and not remembering details about her Holocaust stories. Guilty for not becoming a Doctor or Lawyer. Guilty for marrying a non-Jew and for wanting a Jewish wedding ceremony. And most recently, guilty for not appreciating my parents more when I was younger.