Fur parenting fail

On April 7th, our little girl pup was born.  Seven weeks later, we took her home with us.  Three weeks later, we had to give her to my in-laws… where she still remains today.  What happened you say?  I’ll tell you… it’s called fur parent fail!  There, I’ve said it.  I’ve been ashamed to admit it, but I can’t hide it anymore.  People are asking questions, neighbours are giving us weird looks.  They know the dog is no longer around… so where could she be?  Well… it’s time for the truth to come out.

Yes, it was my idea to get a dog. I thought it would be a perfect addition to our family. John and I always talked about getting a dog and Kyle loved dogs so much, it only made sense.  I figured the timing was right.  Kyle was a bit “older” and we weren’t yet expecting our second child.  I figured it gave us a good year in between kids and Kyle wasn`t as needy anymore.  All of this makes sense, right?

When we brought our pup (Corona) home, all was good.  At first a least.  However, at this point I was one month pregnant and suddenly, I couldn’t stand to be around her.  Her smell was bothering me so much, I couldn’t come within 10 feet of her.  That made it a little hard to take care of her.  Also, she couldn’t stop jumping and biting Kyle.  When she was still really small, it wasn’t a big deal, Kyle could handle himself.  But once she got bigger, she pushed Kyle over.  To say the least, he wasn’t a happy boy.  So Corona spent most of her time outside in our backyard.  Although being outside was nice, it wasn’t fair to her.  What’s more, Kyle was on a new sleep schedule, waking up between 5:30 and 6 AM, around the same time as Corona.  Since I was not feeling well (did I mention I was pregnant and super nauseous from Corona’s smell and super tired ALL THE TIME???), my husband would be the one who would wake up early each morning taking care of Kyle and Corona. His main objective became keeping Kyle and Corona separated and happy at the same time. At 5:30 in the morning, this was a frustrating task, and I was no help.  To say the least, my husband started despising my “great idea” of getting a dog.

To help us out, my in-laws offered to watch Corona for the summer.  They spent most of their time at the cottage, and figured she would love it up there.  And they were right, she did love it up there.  And what was supposed to be a short-term solution, ended up being for the long-term.  I was finally able to admit that we really couldn’t take of Corona, with our second child on the way and Corona still being a puppy when the baby arrives.  It took me a while to admit this, but I had.  For the sake of my husband’s sanity, and for our non-fur-children.

Where the signs there all along? Sure… there were some.  When we were seeking out a breeder, a few e-mailed me back saying that I would be hard pressed to find a breeder willing to sell us a pup with a two year-old son.  I just figured they were jerks.  At the time we researched this, I wasn’t pregnant, but I was by the time we went to pick up Corona from the breeder.  My first pregnancy was very tough (gagging, nausea and vomiting, and extreme tiredness).  So should I have figured out that things would have been the same this time around? Probably… but who have guessed that a puppy smell would have bothered me?  I didn’t!

The good news is that Corona is still in the family.  Kyle still gets to see her a lot and grow up with a dog near by.  It also made John and I realize that maybe we’re not dog people after all.  Instead, we realized we’re baby / toddler / children people instead.  At least, that’s our priority at the moment.  It also turns out that we’re not the first (or the last) to have made that mistake.  Our elderly, and much more mature neighbours, who have a dog, admitted to us that they made the same mistake when their children were still toddlers and they had to give their dog away.  Knowing this, and the fact that they still got another dog later on in their life, made us feel human again.  And the guilt that I was carrying around with me, somewhat lifted.  Did we fail as fur parents? YES!  But at least it was in the name of our children, the real ones, the human ones, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Baby-shower-palooza!

With several friends expecting between July and September, the time for the baby showers has finally arrived.  A few weekends ago,  I attended two very different, but very special baby showers.

With four of our close-friends all due within two months of each other, we decided to throw a “group” baby-shower, hosted by six of the girls in the group.

Soon-to-be moms in order of due date

We made brunch reservations at a local restaurant called Joy Bistro in Lesliville (btw – great brunch spot for those of you in the area).  We decorated the tables and enjoyed some girl time while cheering (sans alcohol of course) the moms-to-be.  As for the gifts, we all put in money towards a gift-card and we bought each lady a onsie with the baby’s last name.  Everyone just loved this personalized, unique gift (from www.kids-spot.ca).

All of the ladies

After brunch, I quickly headed up to my second baby shower.  The theme was “high-tea” and was hosted by my friend’s mom and mother-in-law.  The beautifully decorated back-yard looked very elegant and sweet.  With tables, chairs and tents set up, servers went around filling up people beautiful tea-cups with different tea and ensured that our platters were full of the delicious food that was served throughout the event.  Specifically, the menu included: Mini Scones, Quiches, gourmet Tea sandwiches, miniature Desserts & Fruit Plate.

Various games were played throughout the event including; 1) Guess how many tea bags are in the jar (total was the month and day the baby is due) 2) match pregnancy terms to candy name, 3) guess how big the belly is using string, 4) baby clip game where you can’t say the soon-to-be mom and dad’s name or baby 5) a scratch card game and 6) poppy diaper game lottery.  The detail put into these games was amazing.  My best-friend and I told each other that we want a due-over on our baby showers (and yes, we each hosted one another’s shower).

At the end, the amazing cake was brought out.  It was too cute and very special (hello – a baby in a tea cup).  Of course, each guest left with a parting gift.  A tea bag holder with a tea bag that was created especially for the shower.

What a special filled day for all of the soon-to-be moms.  I can’t wait to meet all of the little ones and for Kyle to have some new friends* 🙂

* Special congratulations to Andrea and Mike on the birth of their son Grey (July 7th, 2012).

My Journey Through Miscarriage (part 2) – Guest Post

To read part 1, go here: http://wp.me/p248bN-jU

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DAY 8:

I needed to see it with my own eyes. Strangely it wasn’t as traumatizing as I thought it would be. The ultrasound just showed a blob with no heartbeat. It even shrunk to an 8-9 week fetus. I guess that happens over time. I am past the stage of disbelief, and coming to terms with it more and more as each day passes.

I’m supposed to be 12 weeks and 2 days today. We met the OB and she went through our options in detail. I asked a hundred questions about the risks and benefits of each option, but wanted to know most importantly which option was best for avoiding future child bearing problems. We’ve decided to take the Misoprostol in a few days. This drug is supposed to induce contractions. It’s our best choice right now as it’s 85 per cent effective in expelling all contents. We may still need to do a D&C. I want to move on and have closure. I want to have a baby and forget this all happened.

I know I’m not alone. Hundreds of women go through this every day. Miscarriage in early pregnancy is common. Studies show that about 10 to 20 per cent of women who know they are pregnant have a miscarriage some time before 20 weeks of pregnancy (that’s about 1 in 5); 80 per cent of these occur in the first 12 weeks. But the actual rate of miscarriage is even higher since many women have very early miscarriages without ever realizing they were pregnant. One study that followed women’s hormone levels every day to detect very early pregnancy found a total miscarriage rate of 31 per cent. (source: UpToDate).

Although I knew I stand in solidarity with many women, I still felt alone and at fault. When I first heard the news a week ago I blamed myself. What did I do wrong? Did I miss one too many prenatal vitamins? Did I exert myself too much that week?  Did I keep my cell phone too close to my uterus? Did I eat too many cookies? Really, these thoughts go through one’s head! But after some research– I am a facts and numbers kind of girl – I found out you can’t shake off a good pregnancy.

During the first trimester, the most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality – meaning that something is not correct with the baby’s chromosomes. Most chromosomal abnormalities are the cause of a damaged egg or sperm cell, or are due to a problem at the time that the zygote went through the division process. (Source: American Pregnancy Association)

Now that I’ve had time to let this all sink in, I’m trying to look at the positive side of things. We have so much for which to be thankful. We are grateful to have one child already; I am physically able to conceive; this miscarriage happened at 10 weeks rather than at 5 months or, even worse, full term. We are very lucky and need to see the good in all of this. I believe there is a reason for everything in life. I am unsure why I need to go through this ordeal, but hopefully one day it will all make sense.

(To be continued)

My Best Friend Multiplied! – Guest Post

I’ve known Wendy since junior-high and we’re now fellow residents of Riverdale, Toronto.  Wendy is smart, funny, witty and a very talented writer.  Her blog is www.sadinthecity.com and I’m constantly waiting for her next post to be published. I can’t get enough of her writing.  She also happens to be the inspiration behind me starting my own blog.  I often read her posts multiple times and then re-read them to my husband.  This is her most recent post and I just loved it so much, I had to have it on my blog too!

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Mothers love to compare labour and delivery stories in some zero-sum one-upmanship of who is really suffering the fallout of Eve’s disobedience. “You think  682 hours of labour is bad? When I gave birth, I walked ten miles to and from the hospital, uphill both ways. Barefoot. In the snow.”

I hope that Mcintosh tasted really good, Eve.

Our family is expanding!… We’re getting a fur child (and need your help with the name)

Short version: We’re getting a dog, and we need name suggestions!!

Long version:John and I always knew that one day, we would get a dog.  We just didn’t know when.

At the dog park, moments before a dog came and ate those crackers

Since we both grow up with dogs, we knew the responsibilities that came along with dog ownership, and we just weren’t ready for it. We figured we’d at least wait until we had some kids since surely we’d have to be responsible by then!  Once Kyle was born, our plates were full enough and we just figured the timing wasn’t right.  And so, we dragged our heals a little longer.

When Kyle was about 8 or 9 months old, I took him to our local off-leash dog park.  He had the best time sitting and watching the dogs run around.  It became our daily routine and the smile stayed on Kyle’s face for hours after watching the dogs. 

Top 10 signs you’re really sick…

10. Your house looks like a tornado went through but somehow you’ve convinced yourself it’s still fit for a queen and with a house this clean you’re not the least bit concerned if your child decides he wants to eat off the floor (see # 9 below). 9. You son dumps all of his raisins on the floor and rather than telling him to stop or clean them up, you’re quite happy he’s found a way to entertain himself. 🙂

8. You boss your husband around and he doesn’t say anything about it.*

Why can`t I just pee alone?!?!

For those of you confused by the title, you should know that I have an 18 month old son.*

When I was pregnant with Kyle, I heard that I wasn’t going to get much sleep or alone time with my husband.  But I was never told that I also wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom without the accompaniment of my son.  Of course when Kyle was a little baby, if he was awake or not in his crib, I could take him into the bathroom with me and put him in his bouncing chair.  But as he got older and more mobile, I assumed he should be able to continue to play wherever he is as I’m only an ear shot away.

A war hero, undercover cop, entrepreneur and foster parent: My dad, my hero!

My dad heard a loud noise, he could smell something burning and his tank began to shake. He felt a ton of pressure, like someone was holding him paralyzed against the tank’s wall. Parts of the tank starting crashing into his face and body and suddenly it become eerily quiet.

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Growing up I’ve always admired my dad. He has managed to experience some of the most life-changing experiences, filled with ups and downs, and through it all, he has always maintained a positive attitude with a smile on his face. He’s one of the most generous people I know, with a heart the size of Niagara Falls (both the U.S. and Canada sides combined). My dad’s life story, although nowhere near the end, is so amazing and inspiring, I wanted to share it with the world. I couldn’t be prouder of my dad, his accomplishments, and positive outlook on life. I believe we can all learn to live each day to the fullest after hearing his story.

Being born in Jerusalem, Israel, my dad was drafted to the army, like everyone else, when he was 18 1/2 years old. He joined the Armour unit and began three months of general studies before beginning more intensive training. For two months, he studies with the combat unit and learned everything about the M48 Patton tanks. He was specializing as the gunner of his tank unit but he was still trained in all other areas including; ammunition, driving, computer use and tank maintenance. In total, he had seven months of training before being deployed in Egypt.

Getting Pregnant 101 – Guest Post

My guest writer is Jenn, a loving wife and mother of two sweet boys.  She has written a beautiful post about the ups and downs of trying to conceive.  I’m so glad she is sharing her story with us, because I know there’s many people who have gone through this as and can relate.

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You know it’s coming…you just finished walking down the aisle and have yet to enjoy the real honeymoon, when countless inquiring minds ask “so when are you having a baby?!” My husband and I had always been upfront about our intentions of having children to our family and friends. Our plan was to purchase our first home, enjoy some time together as a married couple and then take the plunge! Nevertheless, any time my husband or I came close to a baby, or dare I say hold a baby, we’d set ourselves up for scrutiny!

Fast forward a few years later; the house is bought, we feel that we’ve gotten a handle on married life, and decide it’s about that time. Easy, right? We never would have thought it would be another two years before we actually got to hold that sweet baby we always dreamed of in our arms.

This too shall pass – Guest post!!!

While I’m on vacation, my loving and wise cousin Jenny, has graciously offered to write a guest post for my blog.  It’s easy to see she’s been a great mother to Lily from this sweet post about stages, phases and the passing of time.  I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I have.

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I know many of you that are reading Maya’s blog have younger children.  I am the mother of a “tween”.  I enjoy reading Maya’s blog, it brings back lovely memories.  You see, it’s true what they say, once you have kids, time seems to pass very quickly.  Maybe it is because you have specific stages with which to identify the passage of time; such as when Lily was taking naps, when Lily was in preschool, or when Lily was in grade school.  For me, there is a large block of time in my life, between college graduation and motherhood that seems to just meld together.